Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

How do you fight the push and pull (manipulation) tactic if you want to win him?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What do you think of Vance using a clip of an embarrassed teenager from almost 20 years ago in an attempt to bully Kamala Harris?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why do flat Earthers still exist even though it is scientifically proven that the Earth is spherical?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Since the rise of feminism, the dating market has shifted to the disadvantage of men and that is causing this incel phenomenon. Why do women not understand how lonely the majority of men are?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What are some downsides to living in Newfoundland and Labrador (besides the weather)?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If my heart stopped beating, would I have enough energy to walk out into the other room 20 ft away before I passed out and died?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t cotton to rapists

Has anyone been spanked by their parents after becoming an adult?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why did my ex-narcissist move so fast with his new supply marriage engagement moving in, etc.?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Isn't it great that we have an incoming president who is embracing ideas from the past like manifest destiny? Isn't it greater that Trump is willing to get us more territory and land?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

How much should one budget to travel for 1 month generally?

I see through liars

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can read

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability